Oct 18, 2010

Saranghaneun Geudae

My favorite from T-ara are Eun Jung(Left) and Soyeon(center)

October 18, 2010
10:31 am

Sitting here in the cafeteria at my college and I love it. I know my group likes going to library and into one of the study rooms, but I personally love the environment of the cafeteria. There's so many people in here and they're always entertaining to watch.

I think it's just the presence of a mixed society that conforts me.

Don't get me wrong or anything, I love being in the study rooms with my friends but I'd rather be in the cafeteria. I love being surrounded by people. Not as the center of attention or anything but being around people makes me feel less lonely.

I feel less lonely when I'm alone in a place full of people I don't know.

2:30 pm

Back from class, a friend of mine actually sat down and talked to me. Well, I wouldn't call him a friend. He's more of like an aquantance.

Linguistics blows. It was really boring today. I forgot what we talked about but EH. Boring.


I'm finally alone to finish this blog. There's so many things going on in my head, it's so distracting. Actually, there really isn't anything going on in my head. There usually is, but I forget about them once I start thinking about them.

I want to see Mrs. Vuong. She's the only other person who makes me positive. David makes me happy but he's not around me all the time.

I want to eventually get really close to her. Close to the point where I'm just sharing to her the most personal things in my life.

A week after that one indecent, Mrs. Vuong called me and hired me to do some stuff for her class. I was really happy because I was able to be around her again. I don't remember when, but she mentioned how if I ever needed a place to just rest, I could come over to her place.

And I think I will.

I just need a break from my life because in all honesty, it's pulling me down. Cuz you know....

"I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired." -The White Tie Affair.

Procrastinating? I think so.

October 18, 2010
12:06 AM

It's past midnight and I still have yet to finish my research paper that's due tomorrow. Honestly, I love this class, but I just hate doing work in it.

And so, instead of writing my paper, I'm going to blog. About what? Well, I don't know. But I do know that I'm obsessing over two songs:

Beautiful World - Utada Hikaru

Bye Bye - T-ara.

I think the english lyrics get to me in the songs. For "Beautiful World":

I don't know what I want I just want it

and for "Bye Bye":
When I see you, I have to cry

How pathetic are those lyrics? Just thinking about them make me feel so pathetic and so negative.  I just want throw away any possible feelings of "love" I have and not worry about anything dealing with "love"

It's like high school all over again.

I'm so angry at myself for believing that there's a "love" out there for me.  I'm so angry for "falling" again. I'm so angry for listening to my emotions.

And even if there is a "love" out there, it isn't a "meant to be" or "soulmates" and all that bullsh-t. There's no such thing. 

Maybe he was right, I have lost faith in myself. 

Oct 16, 2010

Undefined my ass.

October 16, 2010.

The fairly noticable "undifined" thing on my page is kinda annoying. Actually, I think it's suppose to be the date but whatever. I'll post the date every time I post something.

It's been awhile and I promise to blog more...as soon as I finish my homework. I've actually been wanting to blog more hence the change of my page.

Btw, if you haven't seen the Sesame Street parody of the Old Spice Commercial, here it is:

Congrats, you know all about the word "on" now.