lame blog is lame.

Blog 69 - 11:36pm

anji almost burnt her house down.

i be tired.
liek rlly tired.

totally had FUN today.
didnt go to biopsych. f-ck.

went to anji's. brawled. barnesandnobles. playedagame. FUN.
anji bought me a sketchbook and a doll thing! :D
THANKS ANJI! o 3O

now, im at home....being tired and lame and whatnot.

i finally chose a name for O.jay. it's Oria:

The girl's name Oria \o-ria\ is a variant of Aura (Latin) and Oriana (Latin), and the meaning of Oria is "wind; sunrise".

now, i have to tie her name to her personality. xD

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

i really like someone right now and i totally do not have a shot with her. not in a million YEARS.
the feeling of knowing that this person will never accept my feelings is just getting to me. it really sucks. and the fact that im letting this affect is soooo totally stupid and just...LAME.

i am a very lame person.

i think, my body is punishing me for my mentality. if not, then God is punishing me.
God is always punishing me.

i swear. i am fine... physically. its just...my mind is causing me to be tired. i have like no energy to really do anything. and im always sighing. im also really unmotivated.

i sometimes wonder WHY IN THE WORLD i fell for her. i knew nothing would EVER happen between us, yet i couldnt help myself. why? why? why? why? why?

why am i feeling this way?
why...her?

why does she make my heart race whenever i see her?
whenever i speak to her?
whenever i think of her?

it makes me sad whenever im reminded that she has already found the love of her life. but now, all i can do is wish her the best of luck. no, i do not need to. i know their love will last forever.

i just wished i had a chance with her...
she's a love i will never be able to experience.



im sorry this is so choppy. i just need to jot some things down. xD


Blog end - 12:15pm

YOUR MOM
is a nice lady.

wait...wut? tuts my barreh.

Blog 68 - i dont know when O:

my cousin and i were trying to figure out something the other day...here's how our conversation went:

May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: is me
Zero is my cousin, Kat.

Zero says:
*LOL
*Well
*I got alotta anikis
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*yeah xD;
*that means..
*im your mother D:
Zero says:
*Yeah
*that's what MArio says
*Lol
*He's always saying
*Have you talked to mother?
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*lol
*you should have said:
*i talk to mother all the time!
*this..
*is weird.
*you're coussin and child..
*oh sh-t how did that happen? XD;
Zero says:
*What sorta ccreepy incest happed here?!
*D:
*LOL
*happened*
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*I DONT KNOW!/
*hmm
Zero says:
*LOL
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*-ponders-
Zero says:
*Let's figure it out just for fun!
*HAHA
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*but. i dont want to do a man! D;
Zero says:
*uh
*we were all test tube babies
*LOL
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*wtf.
*okay..
Zero says:
*Psst
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*hmm?
Zero says:
*They do say that alot of college students these days are selling their eggs for money
*LOL
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*oh kay xDD
*but stilll
*lets think this out.
Zero says:
*alright
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*so im your mom. and cousin.
Zero says:
*hmm
*tough
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*that means father would have to be..
*OR MOTHER
*HAHAH STEM CELLs! WOO!
*or marrow bone thing o _o..
Zero says:
*lol brb
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*kay
*ill think.
Zero says:
*in order to be my cousin
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*I GOT IT.
Zero says:
*our moms have to be related
*okay
*wot o3o
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*check this out:
*
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*hey guy
*s
Parkarr! says:
*hey taka!
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*i have a question. O:
*so how woudl this work out?:
Parkarr! says:
*( ? )
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*like..
*hmm.
~~~~~~
*you're cousins with someone but you're aslo the mother
*does that make sense?
~~~~~~
*DOES IT?! D:!
Angela says:
*NO!
Parkarr! says:
*Uh, I think that means incest :(
*or something!
Angela says:
*unless you had sex with your uncle
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*HOW DOES IT WORK OUT THEN?! D;
*EW
*so.
~~~~~~
*my cousin's father is my uncle? D:!
~~~~~~
Parkarr! says:
*Wait, what Taka?
~~~~~~
Angela says:
*yeah... thats how it works
Rabbiman says:
*That makes sense.
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*oh..
~~~~~~
*okay O:
~~~~~~
*cool.
*xD;!
Angela says:
*LOL
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*er
*NOT.
*LOL
*NO
~~~~~~
*EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
*AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
~~~~~~
*WAIT.
Rabbiman says:
*LOL
*May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*father is canadian...
*o 3o
*and canadian...
Parkarr! says:
*WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT TAKA?!?!?!!?!!?
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*oh f-ck me.
Rabbiman says:
*LOL
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*UNCLE IS A GIRL TOO : D
*YEAAH!
KT says:
*woah
Rabbiman says:
*XD
KT says:
*thats awkward
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*MARROW BONE!
*OR
*STEM CELL
*I DONT KNOW
*WOO!
*THANKS GUYS! : D
Zero says:
*You just blew my mind D:
*lol
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*how so?
Zero says:
*lol
*Im like uhhhhh
*lol
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*hahh?
*basically.
*he or she would have to be my uncle.
*and your father.
*or mother o wo
Zero says:
* o3o
*father
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*whyyyy?
*sperm bank?! : D
*WAIT.
*THIS MAKES NO SENSE.
*YOUR A YEAR YOUNGER THAN ME D:
*wait.its not suppose to make sense.
*NVM!
Zero says:
*xD
*XDD
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*oh snap
*that means...
*father is my uncle.
*HAHAH!
Zero says:
*o3o
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*father's canadian!
*HAHAHAHHAh XDD;!
Zero says:
*o3o
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*sweeet.
*you get it right? XD;!
Zero says:
*Yeah
*lol
*im gonna watch the tuts my barreh again
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*awesome.
*LOL!
*GOGOGoOOGOOGo!
*imma post this on my blog o 3o
Zero says:
*LOL
*Im gonna psot about my adventures later
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*okayyy! : D
Zero says:
*Come on give me water dessert
~~~~~~
*Don't you like a teddy bear
*you wont want to go norway
~~~~~~
*I will give you plankton
*this never gets old
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*hahahahah
*XD;
*did you see the we belong together one?
Zero says:
*NO
D:
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*the ending to that is HILARIOUS!
*OFMG.
GOGOGOGOGO!
Zero says:
*I see it!
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*GOOGGOOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOOO!
*choose the 3 minute one
*not the 6 minute one o 3o
Zero says:
*okay
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*C:
Zero says:
*I never shoot have little girl o3o
*Pay me!
*LMAO
~~~~~~
*whso gonna take your breast
*daddy no one paid
*oh pay! pay pay pay
~~~~~~
*LMAO
*we will all go get her
*LMAO
~~~~~~
*o3o
*OMG
*the end
*O3o
May/Mey/Mei/Mae/Maye/Meiye/-ah is singing. C: says:
*I KNOW
*WE BE LONG TOGETHHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Zero says:
*LMAO
**save*


Blog End - 9:23am.

hai thar.

Blog 67 - 23:02

i am tired. took test in human sexuality. almost cried in choir. failed in italian. woo.

after schooolll, went to my band practice. FUN. and AWESOME.


i think my bass amp is dying...

Blog end - 23:07

lets go on a vacation to nebraska so we can look at corn! :D

Blog 66 - 9:somethingam haha.

so last night...i stole internetz. my neighbors are dumb haha. best thing king said last night:

king: oh, it must be the russians.

hahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaha. XDDD

anyways, i was bored so i started to stumble and i came across this porn thing. i HATE porn, kay, but this wasnt even like..porn. it was just tooo damn adorable to be porn. lol.

it was two girls just making out and they just happened to be naked. one was small and skinny while the other was a little bit bigger. xD
i know there are porn where like lesbians make out intensely and all gross and crap but omfg. these two were just sooo cute. haha. they were cute physically and expressively :D

why cant there be more porn like this? there probably are some but im afraid to look cuz theres a SH-TLOAD of naughty naughty disgusting stuff out there. haha.


i hate porn. xD

Blog End - 9:31am

haha.

Blog 65 - 10:42pm

so today went to church.
went home.
went online.
rewrote notes for my boss.
emailed my boss.
yeah!


im kinda...ehhh right now. not because of what happened on friday but because of something/someone else.

all i have to say is:

'THEY NEVER GIVE YOU A CHAAAAaNNNNNNCCCEEEE!'


Blog end - 10:45pm.

hello, susie.

Blog 64 - actually wrote this on my laptop not the computar.

hi guys,

today i am going to tell a story. a story about a young little girl named susie. susie was 5 years old. susie was a very happy little girl. she liked playing with all the kids during recess, naptime, coloring, and etc.

one day, susie asked her father to help her learn how to write the alphabet. so he did. susie's father gave her a pencil and lots of paper to practice. everything was going well until she had to write the alphabet in capital letters.

susie tried her best to write the capital letter 'A' but apparently, it wasnt good enough. susie's 'A' was too crooked or way to the left or to the right or whatever. after the 15 bajillionth time, susie's father got impatient and started yelling at her.

susie's father kept on saying: ' NO! YOU'RE WRONG! YOU WRITE IT LIKE THIS! '

of course, being a scared little 5 year old, susie started crying but she didnt stop trying to write the letter 'A' the way her father wanted to.

susie's father got impatient and started to be very very mean to susie. he took out a very long rough rope and tied susie down to her chair. susie started to cry even more but never stopped writing the letter 'A' because she wanted to please her father.

susie was very very scared so she accidently 'messed up' the letter 'A' lots of times so susie's father tightened the rope that tied her down.

then, susie's father got really really impatient and started to yell: 'SIT UP STRAIGHT!' and so he wrapped the rope around susie's neck against the back of the chair. susie kept on crying and crying but she still never stopped.

finally, susie wrote the letter 'A' correctly and susie's father let her go.

the end.

if you guys havent noticed, susie is me. this really happened to me when i was little.

im kinda sick and tired of trying to please my father. actually, i am really sick and tired of trying to please myself. forcing myself to not cry when i want to...forcing myself to smile.
im not saying that most of the smiles i make right now are fake, because most of them are real. im just tired of smiling when im really down.

my father started to yell at me today because i wouldnt drive and i wouldnt clean my room. he somehow got to the point where he was all like: you have to have a heart for yourself. which i dont well, i kinda do but not alot.

as he said that, i laughed inside and said to myself, i dont have a heart.

he also asked me: ' doesnt it hurt you because of blah blah blah?'

i didnt say anything but i told myself: ' no, i dont. its all in my head. i cry because of headaches, not because i was hurt.'

my parents always say to me: ' dont you have a heart?' one time, i actually told my mom that i didnt. i told her that i was sick and tired of not feeling hurt. she of course was all like ' what?'

i didnt say anything to her about it afterwards.

i know im a very forgivable person but i still havent forgiven my father. i dunno, i thought i did until today. whenever he starts to talk about my childhood...about how they raised me, i always think back to that indecent and my throat always starts hurting. its a psychological thing. haha.

i actually have scars on my neck because of that. lol. they're not that visible but they're still there.

sometimes i feel like im not a human being. the fact that i cant feel the hurt inside when something bad happens to me just makes me...yeah.
i always question why nothing really hurts me...maybe its because i just dont care? i dunno..

i dont know what where im heading with this. haha. i guess i just wanted to let it all out.

yeah.

i apologize if i start bursting into tears randomly in the next couple of days. haha.

i need to clean my room. my dad kinda took my door away...literally. LOL.
i need my door back. xD


lol, i feel better now. and i need a hug from all of you guys. :D

<3

Blog end - 2:08pm.

ziggy. <3

edit-4:27pm.

I GOT MY DOOR BACK. WOO! XD

Blog 63

Blog 63 - 1:29 am.

today er yesterday... was...abril will tell you bout it in her blog.

but oh mai.


ive been chosen to be the secretary of this group/organization called MCYA.
MCYA stands for: Mien Christian Youth Association.
its basically what it is. an organization/association for the christian mien youth. what we do is we organize events such as Youth Camp, which is in july and mayhaps other events huge group events. MCYA is also composed of many different types of christian mien youth groups: nazarene, baptists etc.

i hope im cut out for this job. ive never been a secretary either. and i just found out about this like an hour ago.....our meeting is on SATURDAY. lolololololollollll. D:!

oh well, God will guide me.


Blog end -1:33am

o _o

Blog 62 - that one time

totally colored for a long time again. then did origami.

had choir concert. was awesome. bad economy...?

lol

Blog end - yeah.

aha.

punish me peoples. i am very lazyyyyy

LAZYYYY. <3

guurrrlll.

Blog 60 - 9:22pm

im watching Cars right now

i do not know how to use TEXTAGRAM in a sentence.

im still brain dead. xDDD;



i have yuri on my phone...LOL. xD


Blog end - 9:25pm

fufufufufuufufuffffufufufufufufufff.

Blog 59 - 8:45pm

if i were to read try to read all of my emails...i'd probably be blackburied. ahah.

today, i watched mai-hime because i wanted to. oh and i watched the musical ninja yell II. funfunfunfufnfufnffufnfufnfufnffun.


i cannot think correctly right now. lol

/brainexplosion.



Blog end - 9:17pm

i totally ate your cookie.

Blog 58 - 10:01pm

oh gosh, i do soo much SOCIAL NOTWORKING its not even funny.
just not even funny at all.

omfg, my dad is watching college basketball and freakin...5th overtime?!? crazy.

anyways today was awesome. went to human sexuality.
1o:04pm...6th overtime?! 110-110. WTF?!
had the guy panel. there was this one very honest guy who said he was a virgin. it was cute xD

yeah. afterthat, choir. oh choir. was...eh. alright. xD

afterchoir, david and i drew some lineart for the three of us to color in italian. nextime, we should bring real crayons. :D


epic lineart drawing, btw. c:

during italian, david totally invited everyone in the class to the choir concerts..in italian. xD
it was funny. then we LOLed on anji's notes xD

afterwards, we waited in the cafeteria until david left/we got kicked off of our table. eheh. xD
i got anji into the move Secret by jay chou. i need to find out where i downloaded some of the music sheets. xD

10:22pm FINALLY THE GAME IS OVER. i totally missed out on who won. oh well, i dont care. XD

anji came over my house to get her dressed hemmed. my mom was apparently really busy so she wasnt able to hem it today but she will...tomorrow. xD

then we went to foothill for the combined concert of the foothill highschool and foothill farms jr. high c: they were AMAZING compared the previous years. and jacob! oh jacob, the trumpet/piano player. he arranged a whole zelda arrangement for the band to play. AWESOME BTW. you should have went.

then we took anji home. C:

wooooo.

Blog end - 10:56pm

still lazy.

Blog 57 - 11:21pm

i want to SKY-UP to canada.

cuz canada is soooo damn sexy.

had a concert was awesome. i want a recording of the concert. xD

after concert went to denny's. so totally stuffed.
i need to start a workout plan. my 'abs' are disappearing.


i need to clean my room before anji sees it. its soooo damn messy.



i am going to find an avi on gaia to draw. woo. xD

Blog end 11:44pm

lazylazylazylazylazylazy

Blog 56 - 19:somethingpm.

encoding -> storage -> retrieval.


woo.

update later.

lmfao. i INBOXROTalot. xDD!

hair cut. awesome pictar as seen on myspace, facebook, DL e msn e probably somewhere over there:


updated.

Blog end - 00:22am

buon giorno.

guuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl!! /headexplosion

Blog 55 - 18:49pm

HAI GUYS.
i used alot of FLEE-MAIL back in the dayss.. xD

check this out:


XD!

anyways, today was alright. went to sectional. went to cafeteria. stayed there for like EVER. looked for hairstyles. and awesome shirts. went home. woo.

i need to finish italian and cook.

arrivederci!

Blog end 19:03pm

ESSERE MEANS TO BE:
io - sono noi - siamo
tu -sei voi - siete
lei, lui, Lei - è Loro, loro - sono

AVERE MEANS TO HAVE:
io - ho noi - abiamo
tu - hai voi - avete
lei, lui, Lei - ha Loro, loro- hanno.

dont mess with bjork. bjork will kick your a-s.

im very sorry, i try to pull your eyes out of your head.
somebody must have fed me after midnight.

Blog 54 - 21:26pm

i wish i had strand-up comedy hair. that way i'd have super awesome hair.

help me find a new haircut guys xD;
i wanna cut it in like a couple of weeks C:

went to church today. it was awesome. little girl nancy gave me a flower. C:

after church, i did nothing...kinda ahah.
webcammed with anji. WOO!


imma....find a hairstyle now. C:

adomani!

Blog end - 21:40pm

<3

oh, i would totally SEXSUADE pikari if i had the chance to. <3

EDIT:

HOLY SH-T. NEW SERA MYU STUFFF!!! <3333!>

Blog 53 - 11:54pm (or 12:54pm..I DUNNO)

im not to fond of daylight savings :/

anyways today started out with mom yelling out me threatening to throw a pitcher of water in my face if i didnt wake up...she always does this. xD

woo, after breakfest, king and i went to walmart so i could buy some finger tape for my fingers. walmart didnt have any..i think..so i bought some kind of surgical tape for some unknown reason. i taped my fingers and left them on for about 30 minutes or so, but i took them off afterwards.

after taking them off, i put lotion on and finally realized that i needed the lotion. i thought i didnt need the lotion since two weeks ago, the lotion didnt help, but i guess i really did. xD

i am very dumb. especially today.

so after walmart, went to church. i watch the kids on saturdays and we were talking about our favorite dogs. after talking about them, one of the kids was all like:

my puppy..my puppy born 3 puppies but 2 of dem die. i only have one puppy now. my puppy fat like me.

i just laughed and didnt say anything to him. xD;

after church, i went to another church. after that church i went over to april's house to brawl and shoot zombies.
i totally failed at both. eheh.

yeah.

my parents have been thinking about going back to thailand in a couple of months to visit my grandfather before he gives his last breath. you see, my grandfather was just recently diagnosed with lung cancer and we dont really know how long he has left to live.

the last time i saw my grandfather was during the summer of '06. it was the first time i met him too.i just want to go back with my parents just so i can say good bye. i never got a chance to say good bye to my other grandfather, nor did i ever get to meet him, so i HAVE to say good bye to him.

i have to say good bye to both of them.

Blog end - 12:15am(1:15am)

asssssmasta

you have to hava asa in amoderation. you cannot hava ass all the time! becausuh if you hava ass all the tiiiiiiime. then itisanot special.

Blog 52 - 17:52pm

i already used the word of the day in my other blog so..STFU...ahah. XD

today, i cleaned my messy messy room. still is messy because i stopped half-way to cook lunch. i also went to the social security place thing to change a couple of things.

i just realized that ive been quoting margaret cho in almost all of my blogs as of last week. or was it two weeks ago? i dunno. i just love margaret cho!

so i started a drawing project for myself but i havent really drawn anything. each time i tried to draw something, it turns out horrible and stuff. and it makes me sad. bleh. ive lost my inspiration to draw so i cant draw that well anymore. oh well.

I NEED A CREDIT CARD. so i can buy a stylus for my tablet. i still have my tablet but i lost my stylus and i need a new one...like NAO. its been such a long time since ive drawn anything on my baby ):

i feel like paint chatting. or something. xD

i dont use photoshop that well anymore. i try but ehhhhh.... my style has changed soo much ever since i got my tablet.

for example:

this drawing was drawn with my mouse and on photoshop.

tablet and on photoshop.

see the difference?


the best i can do traditionally is this:

oh and that pomegranate picture. xD;

huhhhgghhh. i need a new stylus. - _-;

Blog end - 19:03pm

there isa ... there issuhh boy and his name is paul. and maammy like a paul, you know. hesa nice, nice boy, but hesa gay and he only likea two things. you know, he lika ass and judy garland and thats all. and a what kinda life is a like that? that sall! you know, there sa ass and ass over the rainbow. and thasssall!

dont eff with vegans, they will EFF you up.

BECAUSE THEY'RE HUNGRY!!!

Blog 51 - 12:34am...i actually created this blog right at midnight. xD

I REFUSE TO HAVE A DEJABREW.

ahah.


im sitting here just thinking: i think im going to let something things out.

so here i go:

there are two people who are very very dear to me. they were the first two people i actually 'loved' in that way. ill call the first one....rina and the other....sofa...yeah. xD

first off, rina and sofa are girls. yes, i know, i am a girl and its against my religion, but this who i am. am i a lesbian? no. i dont admit to it because i have no gender preference. i am honestly drawn to other's personalities. it just so happens that im drawn to females and that i havent found a male that hasnt met my standards...yet.

actually, i think have Misandry...or something like that. xD

rina was the first friend i made after elementary school. for those of you who didnt know, i moved to the elkhorn area right after the 6th grade. anyways, i think she was the first person to actually say 'hi' to me. actually, she called me a pig in our language. lmfao. xD
but yeah, we created a bond that was unbreakable, even to this day. she was probably the only person i held close onto in my heart at that time.

right after 8th grade promotion, rina disappeared from the face of the earth, or at least my world, so i forgot about her, yet i still kept her in my heart.

now, as highschool started, i started to get closer and opened up to someone. abril should know who im talking about. and maybe jess and felicia too, if they think about it. but yeah. sofa. i told sofa everything about myself. my past, my feelings etc. she was the first person i 'liked' and eventually came to 'love'.

somehow, sofa was able to find her way around my wall and held on. and we started to develop 'feelings' for each other. we eventually told each other and started this whole 'friends with benefits relationship with NO SEX'

BECAUSE SEX IS SCARRRYYYY!!!!!!!!
like vegans.

this lasted for quite awhile until we broke it off my senior year in highschool.

when sofa graduated, rina came back into my life. she just popped out of nowhere. literally. she was so kind and accepting towards me and as the days went by, i suddenly realized i developed feelings for her.

i was all like:

oh sh-t. i love sofa..but i like rina! wtf am i suppose to do?!

i eventually told her, but in the wrong way. or at least, i subconsciously did it.
oneday she asked me why i kepted on hugging her and other stuffs on MSN and i replied:

it's because you remind me of her.(sofa)

she replied: that really hurts, thim.

then she started crying and logged off of MSN.

later, i got a message from her saying... well i dont remember what she really said but the one thing i remember clearly was this line:

you didnt even think about how i felt about you!

after reading that line, i finally realized that i was a really stupid person. that 'it's because you remind me of her.' was basically screaming out:

ITS BECAUSE I LOVE YOUU!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH!!!!!!

i said the wrong thing to her that ultimately hurt her. the fact that i made her out of ALL people cry hurt me so much. i litterally punched myslef in the face for doing so.

after she stopped crying and settled down, she logged back on and i apologized to her. she, of course, accepted my apology and moved on.

i still love rina that way to this day. i know i should have let go, but i havent. she means so much to me. <3

we joke about what happened on that day sometimes and what we did during highschool. though, i dont think she remembers when i really told her i had feelings for her. ohwell.


lol, the adolescence of thim. its just like the adolescence of utena the movie!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. xD

Blog End - 1:35am.

vegans are scary.

hi, my name is gwen. /edit

---> i need an ipod so others can be I-PEEPERs and comment on the music i listen to and be all like:

GURRRRLLLLL, YOU LISTEN TO THE WEIRDEST STUFF....GURRRLLLL! /headexplosion.<---

lol. xD

Blog 50 - 9:49pm


blog 50 already? whoooooaaaaaa, i cant believe i blogged that much.

i apologize for not writing a blog yesterday.

so my parents were hilarious yesterday. i was the only kid home and my mom started to call me fat. she wanted me to watch what i was eating and stuff like that. so she was all like:

YOU NEED TO WATCH WHAT YOU'RE EATING! OUR FAMILY HAS PROBLEMS WITH OBESITY!

then dad decided to join:

dad: YEAH, YOU KNOW YOU'RE BUTT'S BIGGER. YOU KNOW, I USED TO BE REALLY SKINNY LIKE YOU GUYS. NOW LOOK AT ME. I GAIN ALOT OF WEIGHT AND THEN I EXERCISE. NOW, I HAVE THREE ROLLS OF BREAD.
me: three rolls of bread, dad? XD
dad: YEAH! THREE ROLLS OF BREAD!
mom: you know people have 6 rolls of bread?
me: uh, dont you mean abs?
mom: people work hard for those 6 rolls of bread. sometimes its really hard for people to get those 6 rolls of bread!
me: mom, dad they're called ABS. (they're totally ignoring me)
dad: YEAH, I HAVE THREE ROLLS OF BREAD!
mom: THREE ROLLS OF BREAD?! DON'T YOU MEAN THREE ROLLs OF DONUTS?! you know my co-workers do this to their stomaches -insert imitation of grabbing fat- and say that they have donuts.
dad: MY ROLLS OF BREAD ARENT DONUTS! THEY'RE ROLLS OF BREAD!


i just bursted out laughing as my parents stared at me. XD


anyways, today was alright. choir was okay. im so glad we had stacy, i think thats her name, as our director today. her exercises were soooo helpful. :D

then italian. oh italian. i get so bored in that class. anji and i took the BEST notes ever in that class today. it was soo colorful and fuullll of jokes from prof. martinelli.

TERRI GOT PWNED!

ahahahahahhahaha. she's such a blonde; its sooo funny!

and prof. martinelli called her other italian class stupid! ahahhahahahhaa. she was sooo funny today!

to end this blog, here's a video of my EPIC fail at bowling. im at the end, btw.



i THREW that ball.

THREW.
T H R E W.
FAIL.

Blog end - 11:05pm.

TIE- RAN - AYYY - SORE - ASS!


EDIT:

HAI GUYS. :D

liz is going to join us in our blog wars! WOOO!

http://piccolizzi.blogspot.com/

i recruited someone. yay. :D

i want french fries and a dyke.

Blog 49 - 18:01pm

i was walking back from the grill to the table and this black girl was all like: ' i want french fries and a dyke.' she said it twice.

if i were to choose, i'd pick the french fries over the dyke. i honestly am not attracted to dykes. i dont know why. i prefer androgynous femmes and womanly WOMEN. LMFAO. xD

i think im semi androgynous, but then again i think im not. actually i dont think i could ever pull of the whole androgynous thing. i am very feminine, believe it or not, and i look too much like a girl. MY 'CURVeS' are toooooooooo damn noticable and my voice is rather high-pitched...kinda. i try to be androgynous sometimes, but i fail...horribly.

i think ill stick to be being a androgynous womanly woman...if that makes any sense.

i freakin love margaret cho. check this out:



this video made me LOL inside. xD

last night, i listened to margaret cho for the longest time ever. well not really. as i was watching/listening to margaret cho, i was lifting weights and doing situps at the same time. i havent been working out lately, and i think im losing my 'muscles'. LMFAO. but yeah, i want toned arms by the time the choir concert starts which is in about two weeks.. i dont know why but i really want to.

speaking of choir, yesterday, i went to get my dress. i couldnt bring it home since i didnt bring enough money to buy the dress. i didnt get it either today since it was raining. bleh.


anyways, i dont want to go to biopsych. but i have to. ill be missing 3 days in the next couple of months so yeah.



'oh you cannnot go to the club because the take the druuuggg. they take the cooocaainnnnssuuhhh.

AND THEY TAKE THE D! WHAT IS IT?! THE D?! THE L?! THE D?! THE D?!?!

mom, it's LSD.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THATT?!?!?!!!!'




Blog end - 18:50pm

. _.

Blog 48 - 18:22pm


-ahem-



WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS STRAIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!



...



oh f-ck me.

Blog end - 18:24pm

DEAL OR NO DEAL?!

Blog 47 - 10:11 pm.

edit- anji's chopstick fail from thursday..lol! XD

end edit.

i apologize for not blogging yesterday. i was rather busy doing nothing. actually i dont remember what i did yesterday. xD

today, i went to church and bonded with this little girl. i look after/teach the kids at my church and most of them are around the same age except for this little girl, nancy. nancy is like 5 compared to everyone else who was around 7-10. poor nancy, when we left for our snack thingie, she didnt want to come and kept on refusing but i encouraged her so she did. basically she was by my side the whole time...literally.

she was sooo cute! she started to open up and played with me after i basically babied her.

yeah. so she was playing with a bunny puppet, while everyone was coloring, and was all like: "where is my carrot?" i replied: "uh...here's your carrot!"

i gave her an orange crayon.

later on, i gave her a HUEG orange marker and was all like: "here, a bigger carrot!"

then she looked up at me and was all like: " bunny wants a hug! :D"
i gave the bunny a hug of course.

so cute. <3

yeah, today my friend isaiah accepted jesus christ as his personal savior. it was such a wonderful moment!

isaiah is sooo awesome! and get this, he's a BLACK teenager attending a MIENH church. he's like twice as tall as everyone. lol. xD

after church, i went AMF for my friend's b-day thing. it was soooooo fun! what we did was we yelled out certain words when we bowled.
we started out with HADUKEN! and then POKEBALL! GO! after that was our power rangers thing and then PK stuff from lucas and ness from super smash bros.
our last round we yelled out our super smash bros. brawl characters.

i yelled out PINK YOSHI!

tehe.

OH! when i was doing my power rangers thing, which was TYRANNOSAURUS!, i litterally threw my bowling ball onto the thingie. it bounced and almost went to the other people's lane. eheh.

after we finished our game we went to scandia. it was also really fun. C:
we played this dog game that gave us HELLA tickets. we also played the jackpot thingie. yowty, my little bro got the jackpot and got us over 100 tickets. go yowty! i played the wheel of fortune thing and was able to get the wheel to spin. i think i got a total of 100 and something tickets.

the last game was deal or no deal. my friend was able to get 75 tickets on the first game but the 2nd one...he wasnt so lucky. in the end he ended up with 4 tickets. LOL!

so i guess i had a funn day today. C:

todolist:
1. pikari
2. choir
3. upload videos
4. pikari.
5. sleep.

oh yeah so since its a new month, i got a rule for you guyyysss. here it is:

we have to have a start time and an ending time!

woo! xD


Blog end - 10:36PM